Bad Company (Avery's Crossing: Gage and Nova Book 1) Page 8

  And maybe it really should have been me instead of Jeremy. I’d always thought he’d turned to drugs because of some of the crazy shit that went down in our world, shit that had bypassed me because of The Deal. I’d had an unfair advantage.

  Problem was, I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to go, even if I’d be doing everyone else a favor if I did.

  Nova reappeared carrying another glass of water. I couldn’t do it to her, even if I had the power to let myself die. She didn’t deserve to be stuck with my corpse.

  Grudgingly, I levered myself into a sitting position. She sat on the edge of the bed next to me and handed me the glass with a shy smile. A smile! I felt like I’d won a prize.

  I smiled back at her. “Listen, I’m sorry I’ve been so grouchy. I’m not usually like this.”

  She waved a hand negligently. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “I’ve been really rude to you and you don’t deserve that. I’m grateful to you for getting me out of the river and everything.”

  She gave me a sidelong glance full of meaning that I couldn’t decipher. “Okay. I appreciate you telling me that.”

  I took one of her tiny sips of water. “I’m really lucky you came along when you did, huh?”

  “Yeah, you are. I don’t think you would have lived much longer in the river.”

  An uncomfortable silence settled over us. I watched her as I drank a little more water. Her thick, dark hair hung halfway down her back in a ponytail. Just like the day before, she had no make-up and her nails were plain. She hadn’t gone to any trouble over me, hadn’t tried to make herself look more glamorous because I was here. Her manner had changed, too. She didn’t seem so nervous anymore.

  Bossing me around must have made her feel a whole lot better. I fought back a smirk as I considered the possibilities of her continuing to boss me around, maybe while naked ... but, no. I’d already decided to leave her alone.

  “I’ve never met anyone named Nova before,” I said. “Were you named after the car?”

  “No.” She laughed. “It’s short for November.”

  “November. Never met anyone named that, either.”

  “My birthday is this month and I guess my mom was feeling creative when she named me,” she said, blushing a little. She was cute when she blushed. The color stained her high cheekbones and almost climbed the bridge of her straight little nose.

  “What’s your full name?” I said.

  She glanced at me again, looking slightly embarrassed. “November Daye Pennyman.”

  “November Daye.” I grinned. “That’s different.”

  “Yes, it is.” She paused, plucking nervously at the comforter. “I’ve never met anyone named Gage either.”

  “It’s not my real name.” Shit. Why had I said that? I never told anyone about the name change. Even Jer hadn’t known.

  “It’s not?” Her brows raised. “What is your real name, then?”

  “Robert.” I shrugged. “My mom claims that was my dad’s choice, although I’ve always wondered because he didn’t stick around very long. When I got into show business, she decided a trendier name would be better for my image.”

  Okay. My mouth seemed to have its own agenda today.

  “Oh.” Nova blinked those long-lashed, honey-colored eyes. “How old were you?”

  “Ten.” I’d told my mom I just wanted to be plain old Rob, but she didn’t care and I was too young at the time to really assert myself.

  Nova tilted her head, studying me. “Which one do you like better?”

  “I’ve been Gage so long it feels like my real name.”

  “So that’s what you want me to call you?”

  “Yeah, sure.” Did it really matter? I’d only be here a few days at the most.

  Chapter 14

  Stay

  Nova:

  He’d gotten the strangest look on his face right after he’d told me his real name. Like he wished he could take the words back. He regretted telling me.

  I walked away from him, wishing I could quit getting my feelings hurt over this stuff. What did I care if he did or didn’t want to tell me his real name? It’s not like we were in a relationship.

  Oh, Nova. Don’t even go there.

  Shit. Was I harboring some fluffy-headed wish that he’d fall for me? That he’d look at me and see a desirable woman instead of a frumpy recluse? That the fact I’d saved his life would somehow translate into love?

  I winced. Inwardly, where no-one could see me.

  And then came the lecture.

  Listen up, self. 1: life is not a romance novel. Hot movie stars don’t fall in love with boring nobodies they meet in the sticks. 2: you couldn’t even hold on to Barry. What makes you think a god like Gage Dalton would be interested in doing anything with you other than talking?

  And he didn’t seem especially interested in talking, come to think of it.

  I’d been up here on the mountain by myself too long. That was my problem. I was lonely. Yeah, there were other folks around here, but I didn’t see them too often. It was probably time to quit this self-imposed exile and get back to my real life.

  A twinge of dread curled in my belly at the thought of going back to non-stop studying and I realized I had no plan for my life after the cabin. I’d spent all my time up here drawing and painting instead of thinking about my future.

  If I went back now, nothing would have changed except I’d be without a boyfriend and a best friend. Was that what I wanted?

  I made myself some tea and sat down at the kitchen table to drink it. The stove made this room warm, which was a pleasant change from the chilly master bedroom. I thought of Gage all alone in that room and didn’t know whether to feel sorry for him or annoyed.

  He’d told me to leave, so it’s not like I’d abandoned him. My job right now was to care for him while staying distant and unattached. Hovering over him all the time would not accomplish my goal.

  I got out my sketchbook and started making some abstract designs to pass the time. I wasn’t feeling it today. Having a sick movie star in my cabin was distracting ... go figure.

  I kinda got lost in my drawing anyway, and when I looked up the battery-powered clock hanging on the wall told me two hours had passed. What was Gage doing? He hadn’t made a sound since I’d come out here.

  He didn’t want me hovering. But on the other hand, I needed to make sure he was okay. What if he’d gotten worse while I sat here making art?

  Sighing, I left my art on the table and went back to the bedroom. I peeked inside, hoping to catch him naked. No, no, that’s not what I hoped. Not at all. I ... hoped he was all right and not naked, because I didn’t want either of us to get embarrassed again.

  Really. That’s what I wanted.

  He was curled on his side, almost in a fetal position, the old, blue, hand-tied quilt my mom had made some time back in the early nineties pulled up part way over his head. He was shivering. I could see the comforter twitching as he moved underneath it.

  And I know how it might seem, but it wasn’t that. He wasn’t having a moment of intimacy with himself; he was really sick.

  His eyes were closed, making me think he was asleep. I crept closer, hoping I wouldn’t wake him. I just wanted to get close enough to touch him, to make sure he wasn’t as sick as he looked.

  I leaned over him. His breath stuttered in and out, as if he couldn’t even work his lungs smoothly. I laid my hand on his forehead, wishing I had a thermometer. Stupid oversight, especially for a doctor’s daughter.

  He still felt hot, but not dangerously hot. He probably just had chills, the kind you often get when you’ve got a nasty virus.

  One blue eye opened. “Hey,” he rasped.

  “Hi. You don’t look so good.”

  “Feel like shit.”

  I frowned. “Do you have a dry mouth?” His lips looked normal, pink and slightly moist. Kissable.

  Damn it. I was doing it again.

  “No dry mouth,” he said.

&n
bsp; Probably not dangerously dehydrated, then. “The virus is probably just giving you chills. I’ll let you get some sleep.” I started to move away, when a heavy male arm snaked around my waist. My heart started pounding heavily.

  “Stay,” he said.

  I paused. “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. I’d like you to stay.”

  He hadn’t used the magic word. Maybe he didn’t know it? I’d bet he didn’t have much use for it in his everyday life. People probably turned themselves into pretzels trying to please him and give him everything he wanted. I was not going to be one of those people.

  But he looked so vulnerable beneath that comforter, so alone. Almost ... sad.

  Nah. I was just imagining things.

  “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he whispered. “I just —”

  “Okay.” I sat on the bed next to him. God, I was easy.

  His arm remained around my waist and I didn’t have the heart to tell him to remove it. Okay, that’s not really true. I just liked it there, liked the way he felt against me. My ass was snugged up next to his rib cage and the position gave me the illusion we were something more than we really were.

  I wanted to savor that illusion for a few minutes, knowing it would be over way too soon.

  He kept shivering. Sometimes his teeth rattled together the way they had right after I’d pulled him from the water. His eyes stayed closed, and he didn’t talk. He just lay there holding me around the waist and looking miserable.

  I wanted to comfort him, make his pain go away. It was probably just my fantasies telling me this, but the hurt he was feeling seemed to come from something a lot deeper than a tummy bug. I lifted my hand and hesitantly pushed the damp hair from his forehead. His hold on my waist tightened, just enough to let me know it was a response to my touch.

  “I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better,” I said.

  “You are.”

  I was such an idiot. I was the queen of all romantic idiots, because when he said that, a sweet warm glow came over me. Almost like he’d said that he—you know—cared for me.

  He didn’t say anything after that. I sat and waited for him to fall asleep, but I couldn’t tell if he was or not. Outside, the storm raged just as heavily, making me wonder if we’d have to dig our way out.

  I was so tired. Exhausted. I’d been awake most of the night, worrying about Gage, and my body was still worn out from all the work I’d done the day before. My eyes didn’t want to stay open.

  I glanced down at him. He looked like he was sleeping. He probably wouldn’t mind if I just stretched out beside him, right?

  Carefully, trying not to force him to shift, I lowered myself to the mattress. He pulled me closer, spooning us. With his long, hard heat behind me, my body began to warm, the place between my thighs pulsing softly. This was so wrong. I was getting turned on—again—by him, and he wasn’t even awake.

  “You smell really good,” he whispered.

  Okay, scratch that. He was totally awake.

  “Um ... thanks.” I made to get up, but he wouldn’t let me go.

  “Please,” he said. “I really like having you here.”

  “You do?” This didn’t come out all breathy and flirtatious. It was more disbelieving.

  “Yeah. Is it okay if I hold you like this?”

  “Uh ... sure. I guess so.”

  He didn’t answer right away, and I wondered if he’d finally fallen asleep. He probably needed it even more than I did.

  I’d missed this kind of body contact. The only touch I’d gotten in months was some brief hugs from my family. Nothing like this. No holding, no snuggling since I’d broken up with Barry. Plus, Barry hadn’t been much for snuggling anyway.

  Gage wouldn’t stick around. I knew that. But this experience told me I needed a lot more human contact of all kinds. I didn’t belong here, hiding out by myself. When the storm was over, I’d be leaving.

  I just had to decide how I was going to tell my parents I didn’t want to be a doctor after all. They weren’t going to like hearing that.

  Chapter 15

  Promise

  Gage:

  Was I putting Nova in danger just by holding her like this? I didn’t think so. It wasn’t real; we weren’t in a real relationship, and we hadn’t made any commitments to each other. We’d only just met.

  But it felt real. All I’d done was put my arm around her, yet it felt more real than anything I’d had in a long time.

  Not. Real.

  I was sick. I felt like shit, and I was alone in a strange place. She was beautiful and she smelled good and she’d been kind to me, even if she was too bossy. That’s all this feeling was, and that’s all it would ever be. Reminder to self: you cannot get involved emotionally with anyone.

  In fact, I shouldn’t be using her for comfort like this. I should let her get up and do whatever it was she normally did all day. Laying around with a sick dude, especially one who smelled like I did at the moment, couldn’t be any woman’s idea of a good time.

  I’d let her go in a few minutes. I just wanted to enjoy this warmth for a little longer.

  “I was pretty high at the party,” I said in a low murmur.

  Christ, what was wrong with me? I couldn’t control my mouth around her. It must be the atmosphere in this place. We were shut in together, snow falling like crazy outside, everything quiet inside. The cabin felt remote, almost otherworldly, and I guess that encouraged me to open up to her.

  Nova shifted in my arms. “You were high?”

  “Yeah.” I was reluctant to talk about it now, but it was too late. I’d opened my big damn mouth. “I was pretty ripped for a few days, actually.”

  “You do that often?”

  I tried to detect some disapproval or disappointment in her voice, but I couldn’t find any.

  “Uh ... yeah,” I said. “I used to anyway.”

  It occurred to me that I probably wouldn’t have fallen in the water if I hadn’t been both high and drunk at the time. I could have died. Sheer, dumb luck was the only thing that had saved me. That, and Nova.

  I couldn’t keep living this way, and when I got home I was going to do something about it. Get counseling. Something.

  “Did you have drugs in your system when you fell in?” Nova said.

  “Yeah, I did. Alcohol, too.”

  “You’re lucky you survived.” She twisted in my arms until she’d rolled over to face me. “Promise me you won’t do that anymore.”

  I stared at her in astonishment. Why would she care? She didn’t know me.

  She blushed under my stare and her gaze fell. “I’m sorry. I had no right to say that to you.”

  I lifted my hand to her cheek. Her skin was so soft. “I think it’s sweet that you care.”

  Nova gave her head a tiny shake. “I’m sure a lot of people care about you.”

  As a cash cow, yeah. As a person, not so much. “You’d be surprised.”

  Her gaze flicked up to meet mine. She had the most beautiful eyes, big and wide and golden brown, with long curled black lashes.

  “I think you’re wrong,” she said softly. “I can’t imagine people not caring about you.”

  Damn, that was sweet. Did she really mean it or was she just flattering me? Nova didn’t seem like the type for empty flattery.

  “I don’t have the greatest friends,” I said. It seemed like this was the day for nonstop confessions. My attempts to say distant didn’t seem to be working.

  No emotional involvement.

  Her face fell. “Yeah, I think I know what you mean.”

  “Are you telling me you used to hang out with a rough crowd, Nova?” I teased.

  “No. I’m as boring as they come. But the reason I came out here...” She bit her lip. “I caught my boyfriend cheating on me with my best friend.”

  “Shit.” I had a sudden desire to strangle that asshole, and I didn’t even know his name.

  She laughed a little. “Yo
u could say that.”

  “You mean you actually caught them together?”

  “Uh huh. They were—you know—doing it on the couch. In the apartment I shared with her.”

  “I’m really hating on your best friend right now,” I said.

  She smiled. “Thanks.”

  “Don’t mention it. And your ex-boyfriend must be a dumbass, in addition to being a douchecanoe for cheating on you.”

  She laughed again. “Douchecanoe?”

  “Definitely.”

  “That’s funny. I don’t think anyone has ever called Barry that before.” She was still staring at me, smiling, her eyes all crinkled up in the corners.

  “Give me his phone number and I’ll text him with it,” I said. “He deserves it for hurting you.”

  “It was so weird seeing them together. I didn’t even think they liked each other.”

  “So you decided to hide out for a while?”

  “Yeah.” She frowned a little. “I thought I could figure things out. Figure out why it was so easy for him to cheat on me. Figure out what I wanted to do with my life.”

  “He cheated on you because he’s an asshat,” I said. “It wasn’t you.”

  Her gaze fell as her lips pressed together.

  “No, seriously.” I cupped the side of her face with my hand. “You’re great. There’s no way you deserved what he did.”

  Those golden-brown eyes of hers stared at me like she was trying to see my thoughts. I couldn’t tell if she believed me or not about her ex, but I was totally serious. Only an idiot would cheat on a girl like her, an idiot who didn’t know or appreciate what he had.

  “Do you promise me?” Nova said.

  “Huh?” I blinked, confused at the sudden change of subject.

  “You never gave me your word. Do you promise me not to abuse drugs again?”

  “Um ...” I stroked her cheek with my thumb. I didn’t want to lie to her, but I didn’t want to disappoint her, either. This was new for me—normally, I couldn’t have cared less what some girl I just met thought of my partying ways. “I can’t really promise you that.”

  “Why not?”

  God, she looked so innocent, gazing at me with those huge, brown eyes. So trusting. And what had I done to earn that trust? Nothing.